The recent celebrity deaths by suicide have spurred widespread discussion about the topic. As a mental health professional and a therapist for the last 17 years, the challenging topic of suicide has come to my attention more times than I can count.
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Pink Dinosaur, pink dinosaur, pink dinosaur, pink dinosaur. What are you thinking about right now? More than likely, you are thinking about a pink dinosaur. The interesting thing is as you keep reading you will probably continue to think about pink dinosaurs. So, let’s stop thinking about pink dinosaurs. Can you do it just because you’ve been asked to stop?
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Do you know what is the real culprit that lurks behind all relationship problems-be it relationships with others, our partners and even with ourselves?
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“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.” — David Augsburger
This is a quotation I read several years ago, and it struck such a strong chord in me that it has become part of my standard email signature. In all relationships, including couples, parents and kids and, yes, even with ourselves, I believe this is true. Sometimes, I remind myself of this quotation by saying to myself, “The best gift I can give at the moment is the gift of listening.”
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If you have something important you want to discuss with your spouse or partner, asking “Is now a good time to talk?” can make a big difference.
It gives the other person a “heads up” that you want their undivided attention, that this is important to you, that you want them to really listen to you. It also shows that you are respectful of their time and are not assuming that they are available on your time schedule. If your partner or spouse says no, it’s not a good time, accept that and ask for an appointment within 24 hours when he/she will talk to you.
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