Category: Blog

As parents we all know how important self-esteem is to every child. It is understandable that encouraging self-esteem is often the last thing on parents’ minds if they are moving from one struggle to the next.

Client’s Quote of the week: Why do we (parents) just use good listening skills when our kids are upset? Why not use listening skills when they are in a good mood!

I’ve been working in family and child counseling for more than 25 years, and during that time, I’ve learned a lot from my clients. One lesson in particular stands out to me when I was teaching a parenting group about how to listen more effectively. During our parenting class, I started to do a role play with me as the parent and a parent who was acting as if she was the child. It went something like this:

Several years ago, my mom and I were packing up my basement for an upcoming move. I was in the zone of throwing away every useless memento and long-forgotten souvenir that our children couldn’t live without at the time when I came across an old newspaper. I wondered why a lonely newspaper had been saved and upon opening it I began reading the front-page headline story. It was about two brothers who owned a home- building company that were being indicted for some type of indiscretion. Still wondering why I saved the newspaper, it dawned on me that it was dated March 13, 1989, my first-born’s birthday. As I was thinking what a terrible mother I am for not saving the newspaper of my other children’s birthdays, the doorbell rang.

So far we have talked about 2 R’s: Reframing your view about couples therapy and recognizing the part you play. Now let’s move on to the third R: Resolve to move out of your comfort zone.