How do you react when bad things happen in your life? Do you blame yourself for not doing things differently, or dwell on what you did wrong for long periods? If this sounds familiar, you may have a pessimistic explanatory style, as described by American psychologist Martin Seligman. In a nutshell, this means that you attribute negative outcomes or events in your life to internal causes – you blame yourself when things go wrong.
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Many times I have new clients say to me, “What is Imago Therapy?” I start off by explaining that the word Imago means ideal mate. And then, let’s just say, I don’t see the “Oh, now I get it” look on their faces. So I quickly follow up with my usual explanation.
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One of my favorite movies is Notting Hill. There are several reasons this movie makes my must-see list, but one comes from the moment when Julia Roberts reminds Hugh Grant that “she’s just a girl, standing in front of a boy wanting him to love her.” That resonated with me because don’t we all want to be loved as we are by our partners?
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I was reading an article in Time magazine that reported in 2017, nearly 40% of college students felt so depressed during the school year that it was difficult for them to complete the year. And 61% of students said they had “felt overwhelming anxiety” in the same time period (survey conducted by American College Heath Association). The article continued stating most college counseling services are working with limited resources, making the demand for services difficult to fulfill. It got me thinking … how can we better prepare our children for a time when anxiety and depression can begin and impact their life?
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