“Instead of focusing entirely on surface needs and desires, you learn to recognize the unresolved childhood issues that under-lie them. When you look at relationships with this x-ray vision, your daily interactions take on more meaning. Puzzling aspects of your relationship begin to make sense to you, and you have a greater sense of control.” (Attributed to Harville Hendrix, author of Getting the Love You Want)
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Pink Dinosaur, pink dinosaur, pink dinosaur, pink dinosaur. What are you thinking about right now? More than likely, you are thinking about a pink dinosaur. The interesting thing is as you keep reading you will probably continue to think about pink dinosaurs. So, let’s stop thinking about pink dinosaurs. Can you do it just because you’ve been asked to stop?
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Do you know what is the real culprit that lurks behind all relationship problems-be it relationships with others, our partners and even with ourselves?
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“Being heard is so close to being loved that for the average person, they are almost indistinguishable.” — David Augsburger
This is a quotation I read several years ago, and it struck such a strong chord in me that it has become part of my standard email signature. In all relationships, including couples, parents and kids and, yes, even with ourselves, I believe this is true. Sometimes, I remind myself of this quotation by saying to myself, “The best gift I can give at the moment is the gift of listening.”
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