“Instead of focusing entirely on surface needs and desires, you learn to recognize the unresolved childhood issues that under-lie them. When you look at relationships with this x-ray vision, your daily interactions take on more meaning. Puzzling aspects of your relationship begin to make sense to you, and you have a greater sense of control.” (Attributed to Harville Hendrix, author of Getting the Love You Want)
Did I believe this piece of advice when I first heard it? Absolutely not! At the time, I was taking a course Getting the Love You Want, taught by Harville Hendrix and Rebecca Sears. You see, I needed a certain amount of CEU credits to maintain my professional license. Since I had already heard of Harville Hendrix, the workshop took place in St. Louis – so no traveling for me – and I could get most of my CEU credits in one fell swoop, I signed up. That was the sole logic of me spending two days that would profoundly change my life, both personally and professionally.
I still remember vividly the moment. During our lunch break, Harville and Rebecca asked us to fill out the questionnaire called “Revisiting our Childhood.” Begrudgingly, I did. I just wanted to eat but lo and behold, when I completed it, I saw without question that there were most definitely threads of my early childhood that affected my choice in choosing Shel as my husband. I couldn’t believe it. The very qualities that I listed about my mom and dad – both positive and negative – turned out to be the same qualities that I both liked and disliked about my husband. How could that be?! I was stunned and that was the moment the beginning of my lifelong love affair with Imago Therapy started.
Learn more about enhancing love with Imago Relationship Therapy conducted by a Certified Imago Relationship Therapist.
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Learn the skills you need to help your relationship become more loving and compassionate. To schedule an appointment for couples counseling in the St. Louis, MO area, please call Sound Mind Therapy at (314) 499-9144 or complete our online appointment request form.