When Was the Last Time You Played Hide-and-Seek?

In our book, A New Fearless You, Cindy Smith, my co-author, and I ask the question, “When was the last time you played hide-and-seek?”

Most likely, you played hide-and-seek just yesterday or even today. You just don’t know it. The difference is, you’re no longer physically hiding per se—you’re emotionally hiding. And whom are you hiding from?

Look no farther than the mirror. The person you’re hiding from … is yourself.

Why do we hide from ourselves?

Our fears scare us, immobilize us and make us feel off-balance. So what do we do? We work harder to prove ourselves, over-compensate and over-control to regain our balance.

For example, many people hide from the fear of failure and seek achievement. Don’t get me wrong, nothing is wrong with seeking achievement. It is when people seek achievement all the time, at all cost. Here is a concrete example of what I’m talking about.

The Grown-Up Version of Hide-and-Seek

Let’s look at a team player who seeks to win and make some unbelievable play. Nothing wrong with that, right? And now I will continue … at the expense of an injury. Do you have any idea of what is not obvious in this scenario? His fear of failure. How could you see this invisible fear play out in his behavior? There would be a good chance that he doesn’t try out for the team next year.

Let’s take this a step further and look at an “Achiever” in a work situation. An Achiever likes to lead and get things done – absolutely nothing wrong with that. What happens when an Achiever plays hide-and-seek and fear is driving his behavior? He begins to micromanage and becomes very rigid. He epitomizes the phrase, “It is my way or the highway.”

Then the Achiever is playing the grown-up version of Hide and Seek. Do you know people in your life like this?

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